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So...I am a mom. I do "mom things". Some "mom things" that people agree with a some mom things that people don't. I've never really thought much about the choices I make and actions I take as a mom. I just do what comes naturally to me and what feels like the right thing for my kids.
I generally try to surround myself with people that agree with my choices and have similar beliefs about parenting and how children should be cared for. That has been hard recently, however, because we have moved away from our home and now live in a place that is very different and foreign to us. I am not saying that the things people here believe are wrong, just different.
I met this head on the other night at one of my husband softball games.
I don't often socialize with the other women as I spend most of my time chasing my crazy toddler, making sure he's not chucking softballs at people or swinging bats at them (the kid loves baseball and is pretty good at it for a 16 month old). On this particular night though, I was able to sit and chat with the while the dude was scarfing his dinner.
The conversation started off normal enough. One was expecting so we discussed sickness and fatigue, food cravings and crazy dreams. Then it happened. I refer to it as my Kallie starting to show. We were talking about the hospital experience and I mentioned the support we received from the lactation consultant and our initial complication with nursing. My comments were met with silence and "the look". You know the one. Then finally the comment. "I don't know how anyone can breastfeed". To which I replied, "well I did...for 15 months". Again silence and "the look".
Quickly changing the subject we began talking about raising kids in today's society and how hard and scary it can be sending them to school. I apparently went all Kallie again and dropped another bomb. Before I even realized it the words flew out of my mouth "home school". Again met with "the look" and silence. At that point I started to feel like maybe I should stop talking. I tried to focus all my attention on my son and my husband's game while catching "the look" here and there from these women.
A friend I just met posted a blog post, not too long ago about "Sucky Moms". As I read through I realized that I possessed the majority of the "Sucky Mom" traits, such as feeding my son organic foods
In several different conversations with another friend, I had the gall to bring up the bible studies I was participating in, only because they aligned perfectly with what we were discussing. This was generally met with either an eye roll or a smirk and brush off. I was even likened to a villainous and extremely hypocritical women on dance moms who the other moms refer to as Christ-y. At this point I began feeling as though I should just keep to myself and no longer speak as it seems that who I am and what I believe only gets me in trouble.
I am writing tonight because I have finally found my affirmations.
Tonight I watched the movie Moms' Night Out which was awesome. I am so excited to see and steady stream of believer friendly movies coming out. With so much negativity in movies today, these are a great relief!
Anyway, the girl in the movie is basically my twin, just with red hair and more kids. I not going to get into the details of the movie but will just say that you should see it if you haven't.
What I took from it, however,I will mention.
I for the first time since becoming a mom, feel affirmed in not only how I parent, but about who I am as a person and I should be proud of who I am so here it is:
- I am a proud and loud Christ follower. I attend church regularly, participate in bible study, and even teach children's church on occasion. That being said, I am not afraid to voice my beliefs meaning....it may come up in a conversation we have from time to time.
- I am a breastfeeding momma. I nursed my first son and plan on nursing the next when he arrives. I feel that this is the best choice for myself and my son. I also believe that they should be able to nurse for as long as they need. With the dude, it was 15 months and my milk dwindled because of my pregnancy. With the next one who knows!
- I try and provide the best nutrition possible for my active toddler including organic foods, an emphasis on whole foods, a balanced diet, the least amount of processed food possible, and a lack of excessive sugar and sodium.
- I believe that raising a child in today society is tough. I feel like there are so many things that they can be exposed to at an early age that they shouldn't because there are no longer filters on what is right and wrong. I will do all that I can to prevent excess exposure to things I feel my kids should not be exposed to until they are ready. That being said, I am considering homeschooling my children because I feel that I am able, and I also feel like I will have better control over what they are exposed to and when they are exposed to it.
- I have firm beliefs about over exposure to technology and will limit screen time and the amount of technology in my home. My kindergartner will not be getting a cell phone or ipad...etc.
- I will try my hardest to let my kids be kids for as long as they possibly can. I don't feel like there is any reason to try and grow them up as quick as I can. Yes, they will have obligations and responsibilities, but they will also have the opportunity to just be kids.
- I will teach my kids responsibility and RESPECT! They will not have the sense of entitlement that so many have today.
I am sure there are so many more beliefs that I have that would get me "the look", but I am leaving it at these for now (its getting late late).
Call me crazy, call me old fashioned, I am unwavered. I am just happy that I am coming to a place in my life where I know that I am following the plan God has set for me and that I am doing what he has designed me to do. Such peace! I will not allow those that believe differently to defer me from the path that I am on. I feel that it is right and what I am supposed to be doing for my family and for myself so I am sticking to it.
Ohh and if you haven't seen the movie, I highly recommend it!